Sunday, August 25, 2013

Dating someone in the music industry... especially an artist




Sometimes on the weekend I love googling stupid shit and sometimes I google about dating an artist/musician. I am in a relationship with an artist and it gets really hard and it's not like dating a normal person,  I get that. I've been with my bf for 4 years and sometimes I want to strangle him and walk out but then I realize that I need to take a moment and understand that I'm not in a typical relationship. I've read a bunch of articles with "tips" on how to date a musician. I really don't think people need "tips" I think people need to learn how to understand and get some advice. Everyone's relationship is different and you can't make general rules for dating someone... It's stupid. I also think my relationship is really different since I work in the music industry and my bf is an artist.

We met because we both worked at the same company.  I worked in the office and he worked at the store. I still work in the music industry as a music programmer and he's an artist trying to get his music played. People automatically think that we should make the perfect match but it's not that perfect... Nothing is perfect. I see what goes on at shows and I know the business side of it, so yes I do understand but it doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. So yes, I get jealous, yes, I want more time and yes, I believe that I deserve a lot because of all the shit that I put up with (no money, no time to ourselves, never being able to plan anything in case he has something come up). Then you may ask why the fuck are you putting up with all this shit if you don't seem to be happy, and the reason for me is because I love him. Yes, it's cheesy but sometimes in a relationship where you have to make A LOT of sacrifices... Love, trust and respect is all you have. 

It's not easy dating someone that's trying to be an artist and live off his art. You have to be able to be independent, understanding, supportive, and willing to be second to his music. You have to be willing to work through HIS schedule and that's hard because as a woman you think everything should revolve around you and it's not like that when you're dating an artist. You have to be selfless, it's like having a child, but you also need to know when to open your mouth and let your bf know that he may be fuckin up. You can't be a pushover or kiss his ass because being a strong woman is important in ANY relationship. So if you're not willing to understand the dynamics of dating an artist then this kind of relationship isn't for you. I think the best advice is to have your own life and be busy so then you're not at home alone sitting and waiting for your bf to come back from gigs, practices, being in the studio, shows or networking parties.

Also, for me I have a great group of friends that are all the wives of my bf's group that are super supportive. We're all really busy but we try and get together to talk and help each other because sometimes you need to get out your frustration and have that group of females that really UNDERSTAND what you're going through. Again, it's a different type of relationship so not every woman is going to understand what you're going through and give you the best advice.

I know this was a long post but I just wanted to say that having a relationship is difficult and having one with an artist is even harder. There are no "tips" that can help you but just know that people can date artists and survive it's just a hard long road to get there and if you both really love, trust and are supportive of each others dreams, hopefully it will all work out.



Sunday, August 18, 2013

Been on a hiatus...

I haven't really been on my blog for a while. I think it's because I've been working on other blogs so I've fell off this one. BUT i've decided that I need to start thinking about ME more. Yes, be more conceited because as someone once told me, "No one is looking out for you so you have to look out for yourself." I also think that I've been scared of doing things alone and failing. Failing has never been an option in my mind, but i have to grow up and realize that people fail all the time it's what you do after that makes the difference. I'm going to start on my venture and work on my ideas and not look back.